


Promise Me You'll Try

by sunshinehime



Series: Weekly Digimon Universe: Applimon Fanfic Challenge [4]
Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Universe: Appli Monsters
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Comfort/Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Post-Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Spoilers, basically yuujin isn't doing so hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 01:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20301061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinehime/pseuds/sunshinehime
Summary: Back from the brink of death three years later, Yuujin can't let go of everything he's gone through. Everything he's done.





	Promise Me You'll Try

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Trust and Believe, my first work in the Weekly Challenge series. But you don't really need to read that to understand this. Although I would love if you did of course, and it would clarify a few things for you.
> 
> Beta read by the lovely Haru Shinkai. She really helped me transform this story from a misdirected first draft into something cohesion and actually meaningful. Gotta give her a big thanks for her amazing criticisms. Thank you babe <3
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon Universe: Applimon and make no profit from this work.

The grass beneath Yuujin is cool and smells clean and earthy. There’s a crisp breeze that ruffles his light summer shirt and shorts. He can feel the warmth of the sun's rays heating his skin. Light filters through his closed eyelids, making his sight burst with soft oranges and reds.

He sighs, mostly at peace, except for the slight tension building in his temple. His friends and Buddy are with him, playing in the distance. And he’s currently relaxing in a secluded part of the lawn at one of many local parks in Fujimizaka City.

Visions and dreams have been plaguing him ever since he woke up from what everyone else refers to as his three year coma. But he knows what it really was. He was dead that whole time. Dead yet somehow slightly sentient, and the thought still freaks him out to this day.

Maybe today will be a better day for him, with the change in scenery and all.

His body becomes pliant and he doesn't feel the light breeze or cool grass on his skin anymore. The sounds from the park goers fade out and eventually mute altogether, leaving him in silence.

In the back of his mind, he senses the shifts in his perception but then the sensation of his body sinking and floating slowly away overtakes him and--

_\--he’s drifting in a space of black and blue and muted sounds and freezing cold and nothing. He can’t scream can’t think or move. He only dreams, endless dreams, that forms and fizzles and dissolves. Something bubbles up then fade and bubbles up and fills him--_

\--and startles aware from Haru and Ai’s laughter, light and pleasant. The white noise of children playing and adults chatting filters back in with a burst of sound that makes Yuujin clench--

_\--his fist, his head pounding. Even now that small weak part of "Yuujin" tries to break free. It's pointless, Master Leviathan is inevitable. He is coming and every one of these humans will be absorbed, including the willful pawn Haru. YJ-14 looks forward to seeing the broken expression on his face, as the last remaining--_

\--sits up, panting for air and Yuujin wipes his forehead, a sheen of cold sweat on his arm. His heart is beating against his chest. He covers his face and wills his breathing to slow. It keeps happening. He keeps doing this. And today of all days, when he just wants to relax with his friends and feel _normal_ for once.

It is possible to feel that way though? Even when he does normal things, like eat or breathe or swim or laugh. There's an awful, vicious voice in the back of his head, endlessly reminding him that it's all fake. Artificial.

"You okay Yuujin?" He jolts and looks up, seeing Haru in front of him. His eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes seem to be searching for something. Yuujin has no idea what.

Ai plops down next to him and takes care to sit on the edge of their picnic blanket. “Everything alright?” Her eyes flash in concern.

Not wanting to worry them anymore he plasters a smile on his face. “I-I’m good. Sorry about that. Just thinking.” Ai wraps her arm around his shoulders and he leans in easily, the casual shows of affection between the three a part of their everyday life.

Haru, now sitting on Yuujin's other side, leans on him in turn and clasps Yuujin’s hand, rubbing his knuckles gently with his thumb. “We’re here. And we get it. So don’t feel like you have to hide your sadness from us. Okay?”

Yuujin relaxes into their affection even more and soaks it all in. His smile turns into something softer, more sincere. He glances up and sees Offmon and Gatchmon still playing in the distance. One of them falls on the other and they both--

_\--scream in his ear. A loud screech echoes around, pierces his brain, drowns out his dreams. His eyes fly open and he bolts up, head swiveling around in a frenzy._

_He’s in a small room, on a plain bed with white sheets that cover his lower half. There a table next to him with a lamp perched on it. He looks down and there’s a small white device clipped over his finger. It connects to a machine set up on the side of the bed, which is giving off the beeping noise that woke him up._

_The breeze from the open window flutters the white curtains. He stares as fluffy white clouds float by and is drawn in by their slow path through the brilliantly blue sky. Until his eyes catch the bright sun and he's forced to squint, breaking him from his trance._

_“Yuujin? Yuujin!” He turns away from the scenery and faces the doorway, the source of the noise. _Yuujin_? Was that his name? It feels, _right_ somehow._

_Coming around the corner is someone familiar, a tiny frame with large eyes that shine with tears. He knows them, he knows who they are, he _loves_ them he--_

_\--sneers, the look on Haru's face is delicious as Shutmon cuts down Bootmon. He can’t believe how well he managed to fool this silly little boy with a mere android. A _pretend_ human. And now nothing will stand in Master Leviathan’s way as he directs humanity to a new--_

_\--it takes all of him, the last of his being, to hold back Leviathan. But he has to. This is the last time he’ll ever see Haru again and he can’t allow his best friend, the one who continues to see the humanity in his artificial shell, to make that kind of choice. But he’s scared too. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to--_

\--Haru’s grip on his hand is firm and strong and Ai rests her head on one shoulder as she continues to squeeze the other. Their presence and touch anchors him again and he remembers to breathe deeply, listening to the sounds of his inhale and exhale until his mind fully returns to the present.

“Are you here with us now?” Ai rubs soft circles on Yuujin’s back, and the remaining tension bleeds from his shoulders.

He sighs and scrubs his face with his free head. “‘M sorry. Sorry about that. I just, I can’t seem to turn off my thoughts. I keep-I drift off or my memories come out of nowhere and--” He cuts himself off with another and harsher sigh. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Haru and Ai share a look and his heart skips.

Haru's features are pressed, solemn, as he looks at him. “Listen Yuujin. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. And I think you need therapy.”

Yuujin stares at Haru. His mouth is hanging open but he can’t drum up the mental capacity to close it. A long, tense moment passes between them before he can speak again. “_Therapy_?” It comes out as a hoarse whisper, choked at the end.

Haru flinches but Yuujin pushes on anyway in a whisper far too harsh and hoarse, something ugly bubbling up. “W-what, I-I-I-how could I _begin_ to tell someone what’s wrong with me? _Everything_ is wrong with me. I-I’m not human, I betrayed my own best friend, I hurt so many people, I was created to destroy, was possessed by a monster that nearly ended the world, and even now I can’t tell where that _thing_ YJ-14 begins and I end or if I’m really still him all this time and my feelings are completely fake and wrong and I--”

“Yuujin. Please stop it.” He faces Ai, who cups his face in her hands. Only now does he feel the wetness on his cheeks and the burn in his eyes, tears pooling under his chin. “You’re you. Remember? You held Leviathan back, for Haru’s sake, to spare him that awful choice. You’re feelings are real. _You’re_ real.”

“It's true. And none of that is your fault. You even managed to hold back Leviathan and then talked to me. Made sure I wouldn't have to make such a terrible decision. You're not YJ-14. You're Yuujin Ozora. And Yuujin Ozora is a real person who needs to talk to someone about all this. Because whatever's happening is getting worse. And therapy can help you cope at the very least.” Haru smiles and Yuujin is struck at how sad it is.

He swallows a lump in his throat and slumps. The energy drains from him, replaced by guilt and exhaustion. “I _want_ to get better. I want everything to be like before. More than anything. I’m so tired of fighting my own mind all the time, of always feeling detached from myself."

“I want you to get better too Yuujin.”

Yuujin jumps, the voice not from his human friends, but from his Buddy. Gatchmon and Offmon must have wandered to them during their conversation and has been eavesdropping as it seems. Offmon continues on, crawling into Yuujin’s lap and he hugs him close automatically.

"Ever since you woke up, you stare a lot without talking or you talk and I don't know what you're saying and sometimes you shake really bad too. I'm scared. I don't wanna lose you again." And he breaks off with a quiet sob and hiccup.

Yuujin's heart crumbles at the sound, along with the last of his resolve. His eyes are stinging from unshed tears. "I'm scared too Offmon. But what do I do? How do we know anything will work? What if, what if I'm too broken to fix?"

There's a squeeze on his shoulder from Ai, a soft and kind smile on her face. "It's okay Yuujin. And you're not broken, you're _hurting_. You just need someone to guide you in your recovery."

Yuujin closes his eyes for a moment and considers. He's scared. Really scared. But he's not alone either. They fought so hard to get him back and they still fight for him even now. He draws strength from his friends' words and speaks, voice wavering. "It, it wouldn't hurt to try at least. Not like my condition could get any worse, right?"

Gatchmon, who completely misses the bitter undertones of that last part, cheers him on. "That's the spirit! And I'll even give you some of my Gatchmonaka to make you feel better."

"Wow Gatchmon, you must be pretty serious then."

"That's so sweet of you Gatchmon."

"Aww shucks, it's really nothing," as he clearly enjoys the attention.

Yuujin, watching it all unfold, snorts then laughs hard, right from his belly. Loud and genuine. After a moment he wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes. "Unbelievable. Guess I definitely have to do my best then."

A pause as he soaks up the easy affection. "Thanks guys. I mean it."

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe there was no platonic Yuujin and Ai tag so I had to go and make my own? The outrage? The betrayal? Right in front of my salad fandom?
> 
> This story took so much effort. At first it started off as a simple and sweet little story but then me and the characters got bored and I kept adding more to it until it became something completely different. But I'm happy with how it came out in the end. 
> 
> Also I love how I said I would get back on track in terms of scheduling and then I'm late again. Sorry about that, I'll try to get it together for this week's challenge.


End file.
